Rule Britannia, remix.

I’ve long believed that the Brexit project was rooted in imperial nostalgia, and you can say that’s a consoling myth for Remainers, but the evidence is mounting up. No.10 wanted union jacks on the Oxford/AstraZenica vaccine, Matt Hancock was sure that our vaccine development and availability was down to Brexit, and Gavin Williamson is just sure that we’re better than any other country at…well, just about anything.

And then there’s Oliver Dowden. If I were culture minister, I’m not sure what would be worrying me most. Struggling performers, theatre management, art galleries under pressure…but no. Top of Oliver’s agenda is persuading Netflix to educate their ignorant viewers that The Crown is not a documentary, it’s a DRAMA. You couldn’t make it up.