The Algorithm's Secret

The spokespersons, fed up with spouting rot,
resigned. That’s why they’ve turned to me, a bot.
When real life stats reveal a failing state
invent a world where what we do is great.
If there’s a charge, don’t try to answer back;
debate will only take you way off track.
I don’t respond to questions. Simply say
how much we’re spending, more than yesterday.
On Windrush, child care, the polluted Wye
I claim success, quote spending, won’t reply.
Though politics can be a dirty game
it’s Monty Python which defines my aim.
Our critics stir up argument and strife
but I look on the brighter side of life.